| | With
Jo and Ants battling through both China and its tight policy of internet censorship,
the responsibility of writing their first newsletter has fallen to me Nick – Jo's
brother. I have not been on the journey with them, but I have tried my best to
summarise their exploits so far. To try and replicate the first hand experience
I feel the best plan is to use the skills I picked up at university…and largely
plagiarise their online diary. For those who are regular readers of their diary,
I apologise for the repetition. For those who are not, please log onto www.tuktotheroad.co.uk
and click on "Diary" to get all the latest news straight from the tuckers themselves.
1:30am Saturday 20th May – about 18 hours before Jo and Ants set off for
Bangkok to begin their epic journey driving back to Britain. They've been planning
the journey for many months, arranging every tiny detail and ensuring they have
a smooth ride through the various countries. In Brighton – their eventual destination,
Jo is getting her bags together and preparing to leave to join Ants near Heathrow
airport. I've said goodbye to her, wished her well and am settling into bed when
the call comes up the stairs: "Niiiick?...do you know where my driving licence
is?" And so begins their journey… Having arrived safely in Bangkok, Jo
and Ants set about their two vital tasks - picking up Ting Tong their tuk tuk,
and getting in touch with the British Embassy to arrange some press coverage and
a send off. A visit to the Expertise tuk tuk factory allows Jo and Ants their
first sight of Ting Tong. Their specifications have been followed to the finest
detail, she is bright, bright pink. Immediately smitten she is proclaimed to be
"the most rocking tuk tuk in the world". They also learn that "Ting Tong" means
crazy in Thai… A day in a tuk tuk factory learning mechanics followed and
Ants unfortunately spent a night in hospital with a 103 degree temperature and
a diagnosis of a high fever, viral infection, throat infection and flu all at
once. But she made a quick recovery and was ready for "Tuk Off" on Sunday May
28th. After two hours spent giving interviews, smiling for photos hanging
off the side of Ting Tong and giving the Ambassador and his wife a trip in Ting
Tong round the embassy grounds, at 11.49 am on Sunday morning Jo, Ants and Ting
Tong, under the watchful eye of Queen Victoria, turned left out of the British
Embassy in Bangkok and set sail for England. News of the adventure was reported
far and wide: the Indian Financial Times, The Herald and The Pakistani Globe all
carrying the story. Posing the question of "why on earth would someone in Karachi
want to read about a bright pink tuk tuk?" By 2nd June, Jo, Ants and Ting
Tong had made it over the Friendship Bridge and into Laos. One country down, eleven
to go. After stories about the difficulty of taking a Thai vehicle into Laos,
the border crossing was a cause of relief. Jo disappeared into "Room 6" with a
number of border guards, leaving Ants to answer the by now familiar set of questions
from passers-by: "'Where are you from?' 'Where are you going?' 'How much was your
tuk tuk?'" And then the familiar raised eyebrows and looks of 'Are you crazy?'"
upon learning of the final destination. The press cuttings from Thai papers Jo
proffered to the border guards did |
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| the
trick and Ting Tong was allowed into Laos. Celebration ensued with a weekend stop
at the 5 star Setta Palace Hotel in Vientiane funded by Jo and Ants's credit cards
(no company expenses on this trip). Not till England will they drive on the left
again. |
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| After
a relaxing weekend they picked up their permit and hit the road once more, only
at a slower speed - the potholes keeping the previously speedy 60mph Ting Tong
down to a more sedate 30mph average. Probably for the best, after an over zealous
garage attendant set Ting Tong on her way with her tyres at double the recommended
pressure. After floating along for a couple of miles this was quickly rectified
and the team arrived in Vang Vieng an oasis of grotty guesthouses and TV bars
amongst the idyllic rural surroundings. |
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| The
next day - June 6th - was spent tubing, kayaking and drinking beer on the Nam
Song River. A well needed day of rest before the next day's journey north up Route
13 to Luang Prabang. A 250 km stretch rumoured to be full of switchbacks, steep
climbs and Hmong rebels just waiting to pounce. |
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| 10
a.m. June 7th - with Ting Tong packed up they set off onto Route 13. Climbing
for hours and hours, stopping only in a random town for coke and foe (noodle soup
with many unidentifiable things lurking in its depths). Each settlement passed
providing screeches of delight from gangs of children stunned by the peculiar
pink vision whizzing past. The gear of the day was third and with Ting Tong performing
like a true superstar they arrived in Luang Prabang at 5.30pm. No rebels, no mudslides
and no toppling off the edge of the mountain. Phew. |
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| June
8th began with a brief mechanical check to discover the source of the odd noise
coming from Ting Tong's rear. A phone call to Anuwat - Ting Tong's creator and
master of all things tuk - put worried minds at rest and the day was spent exploring
the Pak Ou caves. Tomorrow they hit the road and head to Udoxmai - their last
stop before China. |
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| Udoxmai
won't be recommended by Jo or Ants on their return. Dismissed as the "armpit of
Laos" their night there consisted of rain, bedbugs, a plague of mosquitoes, extreme
tiredness then insomnia. As such their journey into China was spurred on by the
pleasure of leaving Udoxmai behind. |
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| On
arrival in China - where apparently even the Coke cans are weird - they met with
their Chinese guide Sam who provided some relief from the sense of confusion present
since crossing the border. In order to travel through China Jo and Ants are obliged
to be accompanied by a guide throughout their journey, and so Sam has become a
temporary part of the team. I wonder how he felt when his boss informed him of
that impending job?..."What do you mean it's pink? No doors? They're going where?!" |
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| On
their return Jo and Ants will be experts on the road surfaces of Asia and Europe.
First reports from China expressed a general dissatisfaction with road conditions
reported to be more of a swamp than a solid surface. An expected 200km day was
reduced to a measly 60km trip to Mengla followed by a trip to a mechanic to have
Ting Tong's front suspension checked over. So far the road surface league table
is led by the 60mph Thailand, followed by the variable 40mph Laos. China lagging
far behind with a pothole ridden 30mph average. This new found obsession with
tarmac was soon to be increased as road surfaces became a key part of their journey
through China… |
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| On
arrival at the shiny new toll gates of the Kunming expressway, Ting Tong and cargo
were met with shaking heads and a flurry of men in uniform. Jo and Ants made the
discovery that apparently 3 wheeled vehicles and Chinese expressways do not go
together. 3 wheeled vehicles are banned on the expressway. Without a 4th wheel
Ting Tong would not be rolling even one inch of rubber onto the expressway. If
denied the shiny smooth tarmac the team were faced with the gloomy reality of
trying to travel 4000 miles across China in 28 days on Chinese B roads. Roads
that make the previously unloved Route 13 in Laos seem like the M25. |
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| Jo
and Ants have 28 days to get across China if they are to adhere to their expensively
arranged itinerary. An itinerary that is vital, as unguided travel through China
in a private vehicle is not permitted. The itinerary was planned with the expressway
in mind and future visas' validity depend on adherence to it. As such, any suggestions
on how to fit a 4th wheel onto a 3 wheeled tuk tuk would be very happily received.
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| By
this point in the trip their long-suffering (and previously clean-living) guide
Sam had taken up smoking, lost his appetite and developed a gall bladder infection.
Poor man. He has assured Jo and Ants that this will be the first and last time
a tuk tuk travels through China driven by foreigners |
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| Yet
team Ting Tong continues. A night of perseverance by the local motorbike mechanics
provided Ting Tong with a new set of front of shock absorbers and Jo and Ants
steeled themselves for the road ahead. The more challenges they face, the more
determined they become. |
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| To
make up for the lost time caused by the expressway ban, they are now faced with
driving 10 or 11 hour days to try and cover the ground in the planned time. Passing
through Yunnan and its capital Kunming their annoyance at travelling parallel
to the expressway was tempered by the scenery and the reliably joyous response
of all those who see Ting Tong passing by. Sadly Sam is not sharing their joy,
apparently finding the singing of such classic road songs as "Ting Tong Merrily
on High" just a little embarrassing. |
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| Alongside
the road problems, communication is also proving difficult. Internet access problems
mean that updating the web diary is largely impossible - meaning updates have
to be emailed and added in the U.K. By June 15th the team had made it to Shilin
(Stone Forest, Yunnan Province), reporting that the roads have been slightly better
in parts, but that the last 3 days have disappeared in a blur of driving punctuated
by similar looking cities and hotel beds. |
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| June
17th brings a brief chance to update the web log, with Jo and Ants now in Huanguoshu,
where there is a very large waterfall that is supposed to be one of the key highlights
of this province, Guizhou. On the way to Huanguoshu Ting Tong experienced her
first problem, her accelerator cable snapped. A phone call to Anuwat explained
the process of replacing it, and after some sweat and swearing the first roadside
repair was completed. Despite some trepidation when setting off afterwards, all
were proud to discover the repair had been a success, and was certified as such
by a mechanic in the next town. The roadside repair providing a welcome sense
of achievement against the backdrop of the long slow days of driving. |
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| Travelling
250-260km in a 10 hour day, progress is slow, showing an average of under 30km
per hour. Even the good roads threw up hazards such as U-turning buffalo carts
and redundant speed bumps now reduced to nails. The team arrived in Louzhou, Sichuan
Province on 18th June. Their arrival at one point seemingly in doubt after an
altercation with a Dong Feng truck-driver who mistook one of Ants's road signals
for an abusive gesture. An unfortunate toll gate 2km later gave him an opportunity
to speak his mind and for Ants to pick up some local slang. Fortunately a security
guard ushered him away before he could do any more damage than show Ants his red
Y-front underpants. |
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By
June 19th Ants and Jo's feelings on China had been summarised such: Good
- people, food, scenery. Bad - roads, Dong Feng trucks, driving and lavatories. |
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| However
by now life on the road is falling into a resigned routine. With all diplomatic
avenues explored but unsuccessful in trying to get Ting Tong promoted to the expressways,
Jo and Ants have accepted their fate and chosen to embrace the scenic route and
the opportunity to see parts of China that would not normally be visited by tourists
charging past on the expressway. Their last report on June 20th places them in
Leshan, home of the biggest stone Buddha in the world. |
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| The
300km, 11 hour days in China continue. On June 15th they reported that they had
travelled 2823 km's overall, with many, many more to go before they arrive back
here with me in sunny Brighton. |
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| Hopefully
they will be able to write their next newsletter themselves and hope that I've
managed to convey some sense of their trip so far. Below is a brief note from
Jo. In the meantime, please visit their online diary to hear all about their struggles
and achievements by following the "Diary" link from www.tuktotheroad.co.uk. I
have been able to only briefly scratch the surface of their experience so far.
The diary contains many amusing stories as well as an ever growing number of photos.
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Good
luck Jo, Ants and Ting Tong and happy tukking. **Note from Jo**: |
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| Thank
you so much to all those who have very kindly donated to Mind and also to our
sponsors for making this trip possible. If you haven't yet donated to Mind through
our website, then please consider doing so. We have now broken the 20,000 pound
barrier and need another ?30,000 to reach our target. With your help we can achieve
our goal of 50,000 pounds for Mind. Please also tell your friends, families and
colleagues about our adventure. Let's make this the biggest adventure on three
wheels in the world. |
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| Thanks
everyone, also to Nick for doing this newsletter. Tuk to the Road rules! |
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| Click
here to see their appeal... |
