BRIAN:
How much? Quick. HARRY THE HAGGLER: What? BRIAN: It's for the wife.
HARRY THE HAGGLER: Oh. Uhhh, twenty shekels. BRIAN: Right. HARRY
THE HAGGLER: What? BRIAN: There you are. HARRY THE HAGGLER: Wait
a minute. BRIAN: What? HARRY THE HAGGLER: Well, we're-- we're supposed
to haggle. BRIAN: No, no. I've got to get-- HARRY THE HAGGLER: What
do you mean, 'no, no, no'? BRIAN: I haven't time. I've got-- HARRY
THE HAGGLER: Well, give it back, then. BRIAN: No, no, no. I just paid you.
HARRY THE HAGGLER: Burt! BURT: Yeah? HARRY THE HAGGLER: This
bloke won't haggle. BURT: Won't haggle?! BRIAN: All right. Do we
have to? HARRY THE HAGGLER: Now, look. I want twenty for that. BRIAN:
I-- I just gave you twenty. HARRY THE HAGGLER: Now, are you telling me
that's not worth twenty shekels? BRIAN: No. HARRY THE HAGGLER: Look
at it. Feel the quality. That's none of your goat. BRIAN: All right. I'll
give you nineteen then. HARRY THE HAGGLER: No, no, no. Come on. Do it properly.
BRIAN: What? HARRY THE HAGGLER: Haggle properly. This isn't worth
nineteen. BRIAN: Well, you just said it was worth twenty. HARRY
THE HAGGLER: Ohh, dear. Ohh, dear. Come on. Haggle. BRIAN: Huh. All right.
I'll give you ten. HARRY THE HAGGLER: That's more like it. Ten?! Are you
trying to insult me?! Me, with a poor dying grandmother?! Ten?! BRIAN:
All right. I'll give you eleven. HARRY THE HAGGLER: Now you're gettin'
it. Eleven?! Did I hear you right?! Eleven?! This cost me twelve. You want to
ruin me?! BRIAN: Seventeen? HARRY THE HAGGLER: No, no, no, no. Seventeen. BRIAN:
Eighteen? HARRY THE HAGGLER: No, no. You go to fourteen now. BRIAN:
All right. I'll give you fourteen. HARRY THE HAGGLER: Fourteen?! Are you
joking?! BRIAN: That's what you told me to say. HARRY THE HAGGLER:
Ohh, dear. BRIAN: Ohh, tell me what to say. Please! HARRY THE HAGGLER:
Offer me fourteen. BRIAN: I'll give you fourteen. HARRY THE HAGGLER:
He's offering me fourteen for this! BRIAN: Fifteen! HARRY THE HAGGLER:
Seventeen. My last word. I won't take a penny less, or strike me dead. BRIAN:
Sixteen. HARRY THE HAGGLER: Done. Nice to do business with you. BRIAN:
Huh. HARRY THE HAGGLER: Tell you what. I'll throw you in this as well.
BRIAN: I don't want it, but thanks. HARRY THE HAGGLER: Burt! BURT:
Yeah? BRIAN: All right! All right! All right! HARRY THE HAGGLER:
Now, where's the sixteen you owe me? BRIAN: I just gave you twenty. HARRY
THE HAGGLER: Oh, yeah. That's right. That's four I owe you, then. BRIAN:
Well, that's all right. That's fine. That's fine. HARRY THE HAGGLER: No.
Hang on. I've got it here somewhere. BRIAN: That's all right. That's four
for the gourd. HARRY THE HAGGLER: Four? For this gourd? Four?! Look at
it. It's worth ten if it's worth a shekel. BRIAN: But you just gave it
to me for nothing. HARRY THE HAGGLER: Yes, but it's worth ten! BRIAN:
All right. All right. HARRY THE HAGGLER: No, no, no, no. It's not worth
ten. You're supposed to argue, 'Ten for that? You must be mad!' Ohh, well. [sniff]
One born every minute. | 
